Bollywood has a pretty good history of bad movies. You can’t stop at a single-digit number. One way of including a lot of movies as “worst movies” is to categorize them. Here are some of the categories and their sample movies that I have in my head right now.
Sigh-Fi / SuperZero Genre
These movies are what makes your Hollywood enthusiast friend jump like a chimpanzee and cry “see, this is why I don’t watch Bollywood movies!!!” The foremost examples are:
- Ra.One. This one proved that SRK should never venture out of the romantic genre.
- Drona. Actually, I found this one of the best movies as it at least tried to be original.
- Prince. A huge “screw you” to common sense.
- Koi..Mil Gaya. Indeed, a brilliant copy of E.T.
- Love Story 2050. My sincere apology to sci-fi genre movie makers.
Zero I.Q. Genre
I completely understand that some movies are supposed to be seen after keeping your brain aside. But, to watch these, you need to toss your brain in space, never to be found – for if you find it, you might not survive the grief of having watched the movie. They have absolutely no entertainment value. Every time such a movie becomes a blockbuster, I.Q. and Common Sense weep on each others’ shoulders.
As far as I remember, the array of such movies began with Wanted, and sadly, still continues. None other than Salman Khan leads in this category, with features like Wanted, Dabangg, Ready, Bodyguard and Dabangg 2 (200+ crores, seriously?!). Not very far is Akshay Kumar with his Rowdy Rathore and Khiladi 786. Sadly, Ajay Devgn has joined the league with Himmatwala.
Facepalm Genre
Welcome to a genre where a corny dialogue is inflicted on you every other second. The actors deliver the dialogues as if they wage a new war with every breath they take.
You are sure to have a moment during such a movie, when you will palm your face, contemplating on whether to kill the script writer or yourself for watching the movie.
Don 2 has topped this category for a long time. No one will doubt this after listening to dialogues like:
Takat ek nasha hai, aur main uss nasha banane wali factory ka ek lauta malik hoon.
Don ke dushman, Don ke haaton mar ne ke liye hi paida hote hai.
But, after watching Race 2, I have a newfound respect for Don 2. Here is some sample dialogues from Race 2.
Badla jitna purana hota hai … utna hi khatarnak hota hai.
Sabar ka phal meetha hota hai, aur usse bhi zyada mitha hota hai, sabere ka phal.
I really wanted to tear down the theatre screen after listening to the last dialogue.
Dare-to-Laugh Genre
Herapheri, Golmaal and Welcome were really genuinely comedy movies. But they unintentionally unleashed Pandora’s Box on India. The monsters in that box claim to make us laugh, but even after trying really hard, we end up crying.
Some of these movies might make you laugh… cruelly… on yourself. You might also laugh out of malice, in case you brought your friends to watch such a movie. Very well-known samples are Golmaal 2 & 3, Housefull 1 & 2, One Two Three……I can’t go on – it hurts.
Please, Retire! Genre
This one kind of overlaps with other genres. Bollywood is full of actors who seemed to have taken the quote “Old is Gold” by heart. Instead of gracefully transitioning to roles appropriate to their age, they are stuck in time. I admit that some ageless people can do that, but when Shahrukh Khan helms a romantic movie at the age of 42, you know that Bollywood desperately needs a reboot.
By the way, I am talking about Jab Tak Hai Jaan, the breathtaking plot of which involved Katrina Kaif vowing never to meet the love of his life (Shahrukh Khan), because she had prayed to God to save his life from an accident that had severely bruised him. Completing the ever-required love triangle is Anushka Sharma, who is almost half the age of Shahrukh Khan. Also, in order to demonstrate his badassery (and presumably to prove that Indians are die-hard fools), Shahrukh Khan defuses bombs without donning any defusal gear!
Fantasy Genre
We have a totally different… in fact, a unique fantasy genre. Only one example comes in mind right now. However, this one movie is sufficient to contest 100 other good movies. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with “Student of the Year“!
People claim that movies like The Lord of the Rings trilogy form the true fantasy genre. I strongly disagree. None of them holds water when compared to the storyline and plot(hole) of “Student of the Year“.
Himesh Reshammiya Genre
Ah. This guy deserves an award; the only person to get his own category! On one black day, Himesh Reshammiya announced that he will compose music for only those films in which he sings as well as acts!
After this announcement, which might have made a lot of Indians non-believers of God, came a series of entertainment calamities: Aap ka Suroor, Karzzz, Radio,Kajraare, Damadamm!, Khiladi 786, and unfortunately, many more coming.
Remock Genre
This is one of the latest fads in Bollywood. Seemingly, our directors weren’t content with destroying foreign movies by remaking them; my sincerest apologies to Italian Job on behalf of India for creating Players.
So, they turned their cannons towards Bollywood’s own classics. The worst example is the result of split personality of Ram Gopal Verma – RGV Ki Aag. I implore RGV to donate his brain for medical studies. I am also really glad that he couldn’t christen this movie Sholay. Now, the future generations might not be able to connect it to the original classic.
When I see such movies taking place in the 100+ Crore Club, I want to weep buckets.
I will stop here, or my eyes will start bleeding out of sleep deprivation, and my brain will go comatose, for I had to recall so many excruciatingly bad movies.
Disclaimer – This is a republished post from Quora, not my own. I’m not the author of this post.
